Sunday, May 31, 2009

Conversational Looping and Ernest Hemingway

I so happened to be talking about the practice of conversational looping (a sub section of transitional phase shifting), which I am quite fluent in, and I thought I would share a prime example. What?!? You want to know more about transitional phase shifting? Later, babies, later.....we'll loop back to it later......
So, to me, conversational looping is the practice of starting a conversation, veering off in many different directions and then returning to the orginal conversation. Looping can occur once in a conversation or a loop can thread a conversation throughout a day or more...
I employ looping quite often. Example: Kids are talking about peaches, peaches make me want a bellini, which makes me think of Hemingway, which leads me to this blog about looping only to finish it with poems about Hemingway and then to the kitchen to get them their peaches because God knows they are not gonna get up and get them themselves!!
And without further ado or fanfare, here are some poems, some odes to Hemingway and another poet or two, because....well, you know...

Today I was Ernest Hemingway.
I pulled on khaki pants
An old fishermans sweater
And leather strapped sandels.
If I had happened upon a can
I would have kicked it down the street.

It was a beach day.
Grey overcoat wrapped around the sky.
But at night it was warm and humid
And we could feel the salt in the air.

He and I keep trying
To wrap our arms around a ghost.
We pour the wine
Yet curse the drink.
And we delve deep inside ourselves
Just to get a glimpse outside.

How merrily you go along
With foot in mouth
And heart in song

Are you Ernest Heminway
Or Whitman in disguise
Or just another madman
With nowhere left to hide.

Young Lust
A drunken ego, buying another round
A swagger covered by a pair of jeans.
Your eyes betraying
Your thinly veiled lie.
Poor, poor fool.
Must be easy to be you.
Riding through life on your smile.
With a face that breaks hearts
And a heart to do the same.
Sampson with Deliahs fair hair.
The tale that no woman tells
Except on the bathroom wall.

Ode to the Poet
You held the words in your rock steady hands
And threw them down on the page.
Bruised and bleeding
barely breathing but still alive.
To fight and lose
And fight again
To win this battle
Of words and will.

Break the seal
Unwrap the bottle to feel the steady burn
Down deep in your gut.
No ordinary booze
But the stuff of love.
All wrapped up
in your vest of lust.

Wise weathered fisherman.
Brave young solider.
Soft gentle lover of love,
With bear trap hands
And a steel sprung mind.

Ok, lovelies, now I must go......can't forget the peaches!!!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Words I Wish I Would Have Said

Sometimes I think about my past and wish that I could change things or have said things or not said things. I thought maybe it would be cathertic if I said some of those things. Threw them out into the universe. Let go.
These are just some of the things I wish I would have said; in no particular order, with no particular reason.
I am sorry. I never should have hurt you like that.I was young and stupid and trying to be cool. But that's no excuse. I knew it was wrong and mean and I said it anyway. I still think about it, even now, and I still think about the hurt I must have caused you. I hope you don't. I never should have said those things. I love you. If I disapointed you or made you feel less proud of me, I am sorry. You were my world and I loved you so. All I wanted was for you to feel proud of me. To accept me, flaws, weaknesses, strengths and all. I wish you could have seen that in me. I accepted you. I loved you for you. I thought you were the greatest. I looked up to you. I should have told you that. I was proud of you. I should have told you that. Being with you made me want to be a better person. You made me feel as if I was a better person.I miss you. I think of you everyday. Why didn't I tell you that sooner? I wish I would've talked to you more. I wish I would've shared more with you.I wish I hadn't closed myself off. I wish you could have met my kids. I regret that everyday. They will never truly know just how wonderful you were or the impact you had on me. I wish our relationship would've been closer. I think of you everyday and I still hurt knowing I will never see you again. Never undo the damage I have done. I still hurt because I still long for a relationship with you. The way we should have been. I still need you. I still need your guidance. A piece of me is missing, never to be replaced. And I am sorry too. And angry. I miss you. I miss what we had. I miss laughing with you and doing nothing with you and what fun that all was! I miss talking to you. I hope you thonk of me sometimes. I hope the memories are sweet. Mine are. Why did you do that? Did you forget I was a person? I have feelings and you hurt me. you scared me. And that day, the love died. You took advantage of me. You made me distrust people for a long time. You made me feel as if I deserved that. I didn't. I hope you regret that. You did not break me. You could never do that, no matter how you tried. Why couldn't you see that? Why were you so callous? Cruel is not an endearing quality. I know that. And I am sorry if I have been cruel. I can use words as a weapon. As a shield. I know that. I am scared to get hurt. I pushed you away. I was scared to be vunerable; to show you who I am. I built up walls. I'm sorry. I should have let you see all that. I should have told you. I wish I could undo the hurt, the pain, I wish I could fix it. Fix you, fix me. I wish I didn't have so many things that I wish I would've said. I wish I would have just said them. I wish I would have been brave. I am brave now.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Filth and Loathing..........

Last night, I ventured out of my little house, in my cute little neighborhood,to go on one of my trips to the grocery store (i don't want to mention any names, so let's call it Kroghetto), as I was hunting down specials and yellow tags, I stumbled upon something that will curl your toes! And not in a good way.
My store, which is centrally located between 2 very nice suburbs (Bexley (mine) and Whitehall-look it up, if ya don't believe me), is selling ROTTEN FOOD!!! Thank goodness for my handy dandy Crackberry and its camera because I have photographed the offensive "food" so that these monsters can be exposed! This is not the first time either, my disgusted friends, sad but true.Now I subscribe to the whole "waste not, want not" philosphy, however, even that has limits!
offense#1-Moldy Corn
First off, Corn??? How do we even have corn? Where is this corn from? It can't be local and I'm thinking it can't even be from the good 'ol USA.

offense#2-"Bad Baby" Squash

That's right shoppers; that's "yellow" baby squash.....if BROWN is yellow and squishy means fresh!
And speaking of "FRESH"......
Offense #3-Rancid Bologna

The edge of this bologna is grey people! GREY!!!!

Could all of these be an oversight? Miscommunication between department mangers? I think not! Common sense should dictate what is sellable food and what is TRASH. The bottom line is not always money. In this case the bottom line should be the health of their customers.
Listen up greedy corporate fucks, I'm out there....I'm watching you....and to paraphrase The Dude, "This will not stand!"

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Open Letter To My Girls

Dear Girls,
This letter is a long time coming. I may have felt this for years, but you deserve to see this is writing. Sometimes knowing isn't enough. I'm putting this out there because you're worth it.
I'm sorry that I haven't always been kind to you. Having you as a teenager made me feel less popular, less attractive. I can say that I was young, but it still doesn't take the sting of the harsh words I used about you away. I wasted a lot of time resenting you, a lot of time on the whole hating "your very existence" teen agnst bullshit. I should have respected myself more, respected you more; instead I was embarassed and hid you!
It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I finally "got" how great you are. How perfect you are. How perfect you "both" are! I know, I know, you're twins but you're not the same!
You've been unwavering in your support. When I feel down, you're still perky. You're flirty in a Mae West "come up and see me" kinda way. You hold yourself up high. But most of all you girls are healthy!
So, thank you, ladies! I am proud of you! You may be a 'B' but to me you will always be DD's!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Es sind nicht all Koche, die lange Messer tragen- German
(They are not all cooks who carry long knives)

As you all know, I am a big fan of the Caesar salad; and with the weather finally getting its proverbial head out of its proverbial ass, it's time to get our grill on!
I sumbit for your approval a most fantastic grilled Caeser salad. Yeah, I just said grilled. Don't give that look, I'm willing to bet one of my kids that you'll love it! (those who know me, know that means little, because I am a degenerate gambler-but, I digress)

(don't freak about the "process" it just seems like alot-soooo worth it!!)
Salad (serves 4)
1 md head Romaine lettuce (leaves about 8-9" long)*1
2 md cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/4 tsp kosher salt

3 lg cloves garlic 4 canned anchovy fillets
3/4 cup mayonnaise 6 tablespoons Parm/Reggiano
2 tablespoons e.v.olive oil 1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
freshly ground black pepper

Prepare salad: Remove any old leaves, wash, shake dry (can be done ahead) If the leaves are especially wide slice in half.

In small bowl, whisk garlic, olive oil, and salt. Let stand 1/2 hour

To make dressing, process all in a food processor or blender till smooth.

Oil grill rack, arrange so its about 5" away from heat source. Use reserved garlic oil to lightly brush lettuce leaves. Grill about 2 minutes or so, till they get slightly brown. (slightly cooked but still holding their shape)
Arrange on plate, brush leaves w/salad dressing and then drizzle w/ more dressing. sprinkle w/cheese and fresh cracked pepper.

Perfect as a main course or dish. To die for with some crusty bread, but what isn't!

*1: you may want more than 1 head of lettuce (i tripled the recipe and could used 2 more heads, easy-it's that good)
*2: if you don't want the hassle of making homemade dressing, just use your favorite-i like Sal & Judy's Caeser, but hey....


Fuck & love & love & fuck.
I'm listening but not too hard.
The commericals are exposing themselves to me in my living room,
those exhibitionists.
Would you like a drink?
Let's get drunk and overanalyze Woody Allen movies.
You'd be a smart looking psuedo-intellectual.
For Christmas everyone get's their own t.v. show!
Let's go to the mueseum and really get to know one another.
We could take off our shoes and feel the dark, damp earth on our toes.
Or navigate the ocean with the help of some friendly stars.
Do my eyes tell the secret that I'm drunk?
Is the movie starting yet?
Is this the movie in and of itself?
Don't get too deep,
not everyone can swim with the sharks.
It's a gentleman's agreement to act like a bastard.
Do you want another? One another?
I can't tell if you're pretending to be drunk,
or drinking to pretend.
I'd like to tell you everything;
But what else is there to say?